Saturday, February 9, 2008

Ubuntu 7.10, "Gutsy Gibbon" (or some shit)

I'm already running your "Ubuntu" operating system on one of my machines here. Actually three, but only one is a desktop. I think it's running Fickle Frog. I don't use that machine too much, but for the most part it works fine. At any rate, I'm not a Linux novice, but I'm definitely not advanced. In addition to Ubuntu, I've run various other flavors over the years, unable to stick with any.

This time it's different. You've got all the kinks worked out. It's polished, stable, and kicks the ass of all other operating systems (except Mac OSX, the geeks concede, but only because it's got some BSD). Anyhow, I can feel it, this is My Year of the Linux Desktop! Fuggin a.

Installing Ubuntu is usually easy. Well, that's what I figured. I'm putting on this here IBM R32 laptop, which unfortunately only has 256MB of RAM.

"Dood, RAM is like fifteen cents a spigabyte these days, just go buy some more!"

Stuff it, geek-who-has-yet-to-reproduce.

Ok, boot from the LiveCD, no problem...a little slow...but.......ok.... sandwich time.... ok... ok it's done. Sweet, everything seems to work. I'm psyched.

Thank you for the nice install icon, that's handy. Lemme just give it a clicky poo....

Wait a sec here, what's happening? A whole lotta nothin! The installer takes about a minute to load up, as is extremely unresponsive. I can get right to the spot where I choose my time zone, an ever-so-important task, and then it just seems to freeze up. The CDROM drive is going crazy. I let it run for about half an hour. Something is happening, but what I have no idea.

Ok ok, scrap that shit. Hm. Maybe the CDROM drive in this machine is all warn out. Let's try to install from USB.

A little google here, a little google there, some rebooting, some command-lining, and voila, I've got a bootable USB stick of the Ubuntu LiveCD. Plug it in to the laptop and fire this baby up.

D'oh. A little BIOS tinkering here and there. Ok, let's fire this baby up.

What the butt? I have the exact same problem with the USB stick. I can get the installer to the time zone panel but then it locks up while the USB stick blinks like crazy (yea, I got me one of those blinky ones, bling bling).

Google, here I come. What do I search for? "Ubuntu 7.10 installer no worky?" I dug around for a while and finally found a forum post where somebody said that the LiveCD installer needs two hundred and fifty SEVEN megabytes to work properaly. Oh man, I was so close.

Your installer doesn't have the courtesy to not puke all over the place because it doesn't have enough room to work in (about 130MB, I checked), but the only tears on my face are those of rage.

Ok ok already. Let's try the alternate CD and install from there. Downloading...downloading ... internet sucks tonight .. downloading. Done! And we'll burn this bad boy to a CD and..... cripes, I'm out of CDRs.

Ok, next day and I crack open a fresh spindle of 50 blank CDRs and make a CD from the alternate iso. Plug that baby into the ol' R32 AND!........ no operating system found. Hm.

What were the instructions for making a bootable USB stick again? Oh yeah, ok... it won't take long... just you know, like 15 minutes of my life... no biggie...

Alright, let's boot from my awesome new Alternate Ubuntu 7.10 Greasy Goat bootable USB installer stick! Ok, that works. Starting the install process.....

"Sorry, but I've been programmed to not know where the hell your CD is, especially since you're not using one. If you'd like to specify where the installation files are, please download Slackware." I'm starting to get a little peeved. You're getting to me, you FOSS SOB.

Alright, maybe I should try to make another boot CD. After all, I don't think that my CDROM drive is bad. I'll burn one at a slower speed: NO LUCK. I'll burn one with different settings (chosen at random, of course): NO LUCK.

CRAP! Oh hey, what's this? A single blank CDR that I'd forgotten about from my last batch. What the hey, I'm out of ideas. Burning alternate installer to CDROM...success... now let's try it here...

IT WORKS! Oh my blod, I've got a bad batch of CDROMs! I know it's not Ubuntu's fault, but I blame you anyhow. That's just how my brain pathways happened to grow. Sorry.

Oh man, it's working. In less than two or three hours I'll be running Ubuntu 7.10 Giggling Grasshopper. I'm stoked. Finally my machine will free, truly free! Like the Declaration of Independence we the people (or processors) kind of free! My computer has been waiting for this its entire life.

I win. It's smooth sailing from here..............

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